Looking at our society today, the number of marital break ups are possibly higher than people living happy in their marriage. The usual “And they lived happily ever after” is no longer being considered as people make wrong choices when choosing a partner. You might say most people make right choices that is why they are still in their marriage but you can ask yourself this question, how many people are enjoying their marriage? So many people once married and sees it wasn't what they were expecting tend to endure their marriage due to the shame of being a divorcee. I Might not be the right person to talk about this being that I’m single but experiences/ Knowledge you have in life makes you educate others, So before you continue with your marriage plans or your relationship, you should consider these 15 wrong reasons why people get married.
1. LUST: it is a must for you not to get married because of LUST, do not get married on the foundation of SEX. A lot of what is called love out there is not love but LUST. Make sure you confirm that it is truly love you have for your partner and not Lust. I was once in a relationship that for some reasons, I felt it was love but with time, I discovered it was nothing close to love but Lust, he was just lusting after my body because of Sex was involved and when I heeded to advice and said no more sex, I discovered it was no love, I have been a bed mate all the while!
2. INFATUATION: I tell people there is nothing like love at first sight! You might choose to argue it but if you think deep, you will discover that “Love at first sight” is just an Infatuation and when you get married to that person because you feel in love out first sight, marriage will open your eyes!
3. LIKING THE IDEA OF MARRIAGE: God help us all in these aspect, I use to think of being married because I like the whole idea of marriage but thank God with few seminars I’ve attended, I don’t think that way too. So many people tend to ignore the reality of marriage because they want to get out of single-hood, singleness is not a cause! Enjoy your single-hood and not morn it. Wedding dresses, diamond rings, roses, they are all beautiful, everyone waits on that special day but make sure that “special day” doesn't turn to your regretful day!
4. FEAR: so many people are scared of remaining unmarried, the fear of not getting married maybe because age is not on their side or because all their friends are married. Sister/ brother, please stop copying people! Don’t you know that copying people makes you a photocopy and not an original that you are supposed to be? God makes things beautiful in HIS own time and not your time. You might choose to ponder on that.
5. PRESSURE: this is where the problem lies, our society today have made being single a disease. Pressure from the society, parent, family members, friends, relations or even church should not make you lose focus. Fixing a particular year to get married only puts more pressure in you when that day approaches. Every girl from childhood would say “by the time I’m 23, I would have been married” sister, It doesn't work that way, I did too and I will be 25 by October and still single, It doesn't mean I don’t get pressured of it doesn't disturb me but I have chosen to not to disturb myself with those distractions! Yes, they are distractions. There is time for everything, my time is no way God’s time, it doesn't have to be by my WILL, it has to be by God’s Will! So when next you are being pressured, push it aside and get busier with your life.
6. ESCAPING FROM BEING JILTED: so many people have been jilted/abandoned in their past relationship, getting into another relationship makes them to rush into marriage in other not to be jilted again. Babe/ guy please cool down! Don’t rush it. What is rightfully yours can’t escape you. The gift of God He giveth and addeth no sorrow. The fact that bro/sis dumped you simply means he/she was not originally yours, so you should give God the glory that he saved you from marital disaster. I dated this young man in my church and for some reasons, my family and most people close to me felt he was the right person because we are of the same faith, tribe and all that. I wasn't satisfied even though I was happy I met him, It was a sin free relationship so the love was natural, my prayer point during the courtship period was that it should not work out if he’s not God’s WILL for my life, I prayed for my own even though I was jilted in my last relationship, I didn't see this as an escape point. Well, it didn't work out because he wasn't for me and I’m grateful to God.
7. MONEY: sister, Brother, money doesn't guarantee success in marriage, money cannot buy you happiness. Many of the Extra-nice men are not rich, most sisters makes the mistake of ignoring those nice men and choosing a partner based on money and comfort. I have repented from this, you too should!
8. ESCAPE ROOT: As I type this, I use to feel this way too! I would have gone into marriage after my ND program years back because I felt they were frustrating me and I needed to escape from the house, but thank God I had great people around me that called me to order. It would have been a disaster! Most people go into marriage because they want to escape from their family, relation.e.c.t. The truth is marriage is never an escape root, you might face same thing you are running from if you get married.
9. PITY: having pity on someone shouldn't be a bases for you go into marriage with that person, you might end up pitying the person all your life.
10. FOOLISH EXPECTATIONS: I’ve heard so many ladies say “is it not me, I will change him”, it doesn't work that way, marrying an unbeliever who smokes, drinks and womanises believing that they will change after marriage is like washing a He-goat believing he will stop smelling! I know so many people will say “she’s being too spiritual” but my dear, I have been there before, thank God for his grace that brought me back to light. We read too many Novels and watch so many movies, it only happens there, it doesn't in the real world!
11. BEAUTY/HANDSOME: getting married to a man/woman because he/she is beautiful is like buying a house because the paint on it is beautiful, when the paint wares off, it would be too late. I heard of a story of a guy that loved and married a lady because she was beautiful, while they were travelling for their honeymoon, they had an accident and the lady was badly burnt, the guy took to his heels and abandoned his once beautiful babe because the beauty was no more there. Make-up have made issues worst now, those cute faces you see during the day might not be that cute during the night, be warned!
12. ACCIDENTAL PREGNANCY: Do not ruin your future by getting married simply because you mistakenly got pregnant, you got pregnant doesn't mean you should bury your future and life there. If that person is not God’s plan for your life, don’t go ahead with the marriage plans. Have your baby and go on with your life. It might be difficult and challenging but it is better than spending the rest of your life with a wrong partner.
13. TRIBAL CONNECTION: An uncle of mine once told me “Nne why don’t you always travel to the village, be going to the village ooh, so you can see someone to marry around, we won’t accept an OSU “other tribes” oh”. People enter into marriage based on tribal connection, it might interest you to know that even the learned people also do this. Marriage shouldn't be based on tribe.
14. PARENTAL SATISFACTION: To keep the relationship between family A and Family B, the son of Family B will get married to the daughter of Family A, whether they are meant for each other or not. Do not use your marriage to satisfy your parent.
15. TO HURT YOUR PARENT: In other to hurt your parents or get back at them, you go ahead to marry that person they refused due to some useful reasons. Saying “I will get married to him/her whether they like it or not” before making this decision, think carefully.
Whew! I’m really exhausted, been long I wrote this long. I hope you find this useful…please drop your comments and share too.
No comments:
Post a Comment