When Christians Struggle With Lust.

Christian society has planted the idea that dealing with lust is mostly a male problem, and this is simply not so. During and after my relationship with my ex- boyfriend, the door to lust was knocked wide-open for me to enter. And although it’s been a while since we’ve broken up, I’m still dealing with lust, and such sin could have been avoided had I (and he) been more responsible with certain aspects of affection.

We never slept together, but two Christians bent on keeping their virginity can still find ways of releasing their passions. If you’re currently in a relationship, and what you look forward to most is the physical affection, even if you’re not sleeping together, you are in lust, and not love. Looking back, that was clearly the case between my boyfriend and I.

At times I did try to restrict the amount of physical affection we had, but most of the time I gave in, which brings me to another point. If some forms of physical affection make you uncomfortable, yet your boyfriend doesn’t see it as “a big deal” and persists, he’s in lust! I highly suggest you begin to pray about the relationship immediately (if you haven’t already been doing so) and have the courage to end it if that is the answer you receive. Someone who truly loves you, and is from God, will never do anything to your body you don’t like, and vice versa. If you love someone, you will respect their boundaries as well.


Let’s take a quick look at Joseph from Genesis, who I consider a master at avoiding the trap of lust. In Genesis 39:1-23, we learn that Joseph is a slave for a man named Potiphar, but he is still esteemed and has a position of authority. However, Potiphar’s wife has lust for him (see it’s not just a guy problem) and tells him to go to bed with her. Joseph, being the champ that he is, runs from the house with no questions asked.

If we could just see our relationships for what they really are and flee, we’d be a lot happier in the long run. Just because Joseph acted quickly doesn’t mean it wasn’t a difficult decision–he simply knew the right thing to do and did it, putting God’s values before his own. We later see that Potiphar puts Joseph in jail for the alleged rape of his wife, but even there, God restores him to a place of esteem and authority.

The cost of staying in lust is having it perpetuate in our lives, even when the guy who opened the door is long gone. I’m not married, and because of my previous actions, I have to deal with great desires that cannot be satisfied yet. A romantic relationship can be wonderful, but if we are not trusting God’s guidance, we are open to pairing ourselves with an unchosen man and harming each other spiritually.

My hope and prayer for any woman reading this article is that she has the courage to flee any lustful relationships and temptations. Even if the thought of dealing with lustful thoughts is not worrisome enough, remember that there is so much more to lose.

By Erika Dillenger -