Dear Diary: IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY!

This past year has been the most challenging year of my life, I won't be wrong to say it was my worst year on earth but I managed to make it look like the best (I think i'll make a good actress)

I battled Depression ; ranging from Health, wrong investments, marriage, family, work, finances...

I questioned God! I wondered why HE would allow me to go through all these at my young age! I used to think I had my life all planned, all figured out, how wrong I was!

I looked in the mirror and wondered If I am still the girl I used to know... strong, determined, wise, intelligent, courageous…. I doubted myself! I didn’t see any of ME anymore!

I cried while no one was watching, I talked to my self most times as though I was mad, I cared less about everything, I got fat, I didn’t give a F**k anymore! 

I was reminded to dress well, look good, make my hair…. these are things i never joked with but the truth is, I didn’t understand myself anymore.

No one knew I was battling depression! Not my family members, not "friends", I did not want anyone to feel pity for me, I wouldn’t want to see anyone feel same way I felt!

My mum would weep for me, my Dad will feel disappointed that I allowed myself grow weak with all the strength he “Thought I had”!

I did not want anyone to Glory in my pains, so I decided to bottle it all up in me, I never knew I had such strength!

I wore fake smiles through It all!  I wore my best make-up to any social gathering so no one would know what I was going through.  I avoided people getting too close to me because I feared they will see my pains in my eyes!

Whenever the question “How are you” “are you ok?” came up, I was always quick to say “Fine, I’m good, Great!” ….. But no, I was not close to being well!

I totally avoided visiting Our Family home because I knew I would break-down when I get there. In my room was where I wrote down so many ideas, so many visions, so many dreams, so many aspirations that I feared are dead because I couldn’t find my way!

I thought of things I wanted that I never had, dreams and aspirations slipping off my hands. I thought of my future with the present, I became more depressed! Happiness was far from me.

I stopped taking pictures because I hated the Image I saw! I stopped blogging too but never stopped writing down all I went through.

Different Evil thoughts came to my head, I considered myself a failure! I couldn’t pray for long, I forgot all the scriptures I Knew! the devil seized my voice!

I would want this today, tomorrow I would doubt if it is ever possible…and I never had to get it because I doubted God!

But Today, I SMILE!



I SMILE because I passed that stage! I’m wiser and stronger now!

I have decided to have a MIND SHIFT!; to be positive and hope for the best even in obvious negative situations!

I have decided only to do what makes me happy and be sure i am making an IMPACT while at it!

I rejoice because I conquered: Yes, I’m a Conqueror! (Romans 8:37)

My crisis days are over forever, it lasted for a season and my season of Joy is now!

Never again will I allow myself be depressed of what life throws at me. (Romans 8:31)

I’m going to face my decisions and If they were wrong, I trust God to make them Right!

I will worry no more for my Future because My father In Heaven Have it all planned out! (Jeremiah 29:11)

I've learnt that when LIFE GIVES YOU LEMON, MAKE LEMONADES!

The truth is life is full of shits! but when shits happen, I have chosen to be happy!

I know it's not gonna be easy but i trust God to see me through.

I would have died silently but God made me an OVERCOMER; Yes, I’m A WINNER!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEBORAH EBERECHUKWU ANTHONY-EMEH!


Thank You Jesus for saving ME!

Thank you Jesus for healing me permanently!

Thank you for my life and all that concerns me!

Thank You for making me a Testimony! I'm a Champion!

I Owe YOU my Praise!