Childhood can be beautiful. The pureness of a child’s laughter, the innocence of their judgements, the genuine curiosity of their questions, the fragility of their movements and the honesty in their mistakes makes us rush forward and hold them in a tight embrace. At the same time, their unceasing energy and disobedience, their inability to see the world from someone else’s perspective and their selfishness causes us to wish they would grow up and mature. Childhood is a beautiful cloak when worn by a child. But when that cloak is worn by an adult, the beauty of childhood becomes hideous. Childhood is not a garment to be worn by adults. Ecclesiastes 10:16 says ‘Woe to you, o land when your king is a child’. In other words, woe to the woman whose man is a boy…woe to the man whose wife-to-be is mentally pre-pubescent girl.Singlehood is just as beautiful as childhood. It is a life to be enjoyed. However, when loneliness hits or when we allow culture to shape our thinking, we look for the seemingly best person to hitch our single horse to, thinking that it will make us happy. In our shortsightedness and lack of patience, we wind up in a relationship with someone who is immature. Ladies, if he talks while he chews or burps loudly, that is not what makes him immature. Gentleman, her inability to keep a house is not the biggest sign of childishness. One can be immature spiritually, emotionally, mentally, financially, physically, socially, and educationally.We all have growing to do in these aspects; that goes without saying. However, there are those who are seriously lacking; lacking so much so that they are simply not prepared for a relationship. In order for a Christ-built relationship to form, each of these pillars must be solid enough at least to bear the brunt of carving in order to make it better.
Spiritual maturity means that the individual is already committed to Christ and involved in a personal, covenant and growing relationship with Him whether or not you are a part of his or her life. Deut. 6:5 says ‘you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.’
An emotionally mature individual does not take everything personally, has healed from past hurt and is not guided by emotions but by morals and godly principles.
The mentally matured are able to process information accurately, communicate effectively and ‘act their age’. 1 Cor. 3:2 says ‘I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready. You are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you no worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans?’
A financially mature individual is not frivolous and is a good steward; spending money wisely, living within his means and giving to the needy. Pro. 17:16 ‘Of what use is money in the hand of a fool, since he has no desire to get wisdom?’
Surprisingly, physical maturity is rarely considered when entering a relationship but it is crucial. Personally, I would not date and commit to a young man who is not concerned about his overall health and body. Why? Because he is going to treat me the same way he treats his body. Eph. 5:28, 29, 33 says ‘So husbands must love their wives as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. No one ever hated his own body. Instead, he feeds and takes care of it, as Christ takes care of the church…every husband must love his wife as he loves himself.’ A physically matured individual takes care of his body because in marriage, your body does not only belong to you.
If you are contemplating marriage, single people should not be the only ones in your social circle. You mature socially when the society you frequent help you to grow as an individual and at the same time teaches you about a Godly relationship. Pro. 21:17 says ‘as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.’
Being educationally mature does not mean that you have a wall displaying all of your degrees; there are many educated fools. Rather, it denotes your willingness to be taught and to be open to different ideas that will help you in “this life and the life to come”.
When God described the curses to fall on apostate Israel, He said “I will give children to be their princes, and babes will rule over them” (Is.3:4). Ladies, it is a blessing to be in a Christ-built relationship with a man who is princely, mature and not a boy. Gentlemen, it is a joy to be committed to a woman who has left the shallow shores of girlhood and plunged into the deep ocean of virtuous womanhood. “Blessed art thou, O {woman}, when thy king is the son of nobles, and thy princes eat in due season, for strength, and not for drunkenness!” Eccl. 10:17
Childhood is a lovely cloak when worn by a child. The same cloak is hideous in appearance when shamefully worn by an adult, especially one preparing for marriage. May our prayer continually be, “O God, may my land be governed by a son of nobles and not a child.”
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